Ryan needs out
by Xyphog
Summary: hooboy... okay, Ryan is fed up with Kelly and needs out. Only problem is he doesn't know how. In later chapters there will be sort of JimRyan.
1. Chapter 1

Hokay... basically Ryan is fed up with Kelly and wants out. only problem is he doesn't know how...

Pairings: Well... sort of RyanJimness but not yet...

Disclaimer:I dont own The Office or any of it's characters... dont sue... blah blah blah.. hell and mayhem...

Not really sure how people feel about this pairing. i just wanted to see some variation in the office pairings... my apologies if you sense negative Kelly vibes... don't know how else to do it...

"Like oh my god I so can't believe she did that! What the heck was she thinking, he's such a sleazebag! I actually cannot believe she did it! I mean, can you?" Kelly turns expectantly to her boyfriend, waiting for a reply. Ryan stares dumbly, hoping to god that something distracts her before she finally realises that he hadn't been listening to her at all. Luckily for him, Michael comes out of his office and saves him, sort of. "Kelly-Welly-Jelly-Belly-Smelly-Felly-" "Felly isn't a word" Angela interjects coldly. Michael smiles awkwardly and indicates for Kelly to enter his office. She sighs and turns back to Ryan, clinging onto his hand and staring at him. "You… You better go, Michael's started a drum roll." Kelly pouts before leaning up to kiss her boyfriend, who smiles falsely, and then turns and walks through into Michael's office. Satisfied he had made everyone smile for that moment, he finishes the drum roll and steps in after Kelly and shuts the door behind him. Ryan lets out a big sigh of relief and slumps back in his chair. Currently he was staying in Kelly's corner of the office as way of punishment for lacking confidence in Dunder Mifflin.

Rubbing his temples, Ryan glances up and sees Jim sitting at Pam's desk, wearing what appeared to be the outfit she wore into work this morning. Looking at Jims desk he sees Pam wearing Jim's suit. More out of boredom than confusion, the ex-temp decides to go over to 'Pam' and ask 'her' what was going on. Upon reaching the receptionist's desk, Ryan opens his mouth to ask but is shushed by a very concentrated looking Jim. Upon closer inspection Ryan sees that Jim has even gone so far as to wear the make-up Pam put on today.

In slight interest Ryan turns to see what Jim has been staring at and sees Dwight striding in from the bathroom. He then sits down and looks briefly at his computer before glancing briefly up at 'Jim'. The real Jim picks up the phone and dials the number at his real desk. Pam picks up and says, "Dunder Mifflin this is Jim Halper speaking how may I- Oh hi Pam, hows it going?" she asks in her regular voice. With wide eyes Dwight inquires, "Pam, what are you doing?" 'Pam' looks up and calls over, "I'm sitting at my desk. Why, what's the matter?" Ryan can sense that Jim is trying to suppress his laughter. "Jim, why are you sitting at Pam's desk? I order you two to sit in your places at once." Dwight says, puffing up his chest and folding his arms across it. looking back and forth between the hidden smiles of Pam and Jim, Ryan can't see anything funny with the whole affair. Keeping a surprisingly stoic expression, 'Jim' says, "But we are sitting in our correct places. Did Pam put some of her make up on me or something when I was sleeping? Do I really look that much like her?" Very slowly but surely, Dwight's mouth began to open bigger and bigger, his eyes darting between the two. In a flash he has dived into his desk drawer and taken out a large mirror. Why the hell does Dwight have a mirror in his desk anyway? Ryan thinks incredulously. He thrusts it in the real Jim's face and he gasps, before dramatically fainting. Clearly showing no concern over 'Pam', Dwight yells, "I need to find this witchdoctor!" he then speeds out of the office, the door swinging loosely on its hinges after a failure at shutting it.

Real Jim sits up off the floor and lets a snort of laughter escape from him. Pam and Jim stand and bow to one another before walking off together towards the bathroom to get changed. Shaking his head Ryan returns to his desk to think. Up until now his relationship with Kelly had been pretty… well… not terrible. But now she had become clingy and insisted that they meet up every night for a drink or to go out to see a film or something. Ryan wasn't sure how long he could stand it for. He needed to get out of this relationship without giving anyone reason to hate him. Not that he cared at all for the rest of the office really, but he would prefer as few enemies as possible. He then spent the next half an hour alone in blissful silence to think of how to end the relationship without hurting anyone, this time during which Jim and Pam were 'returned' to their own bodies. Dwight is still not in sight.

Just as Michaels door opens something clicks in Ryan's mind. Back in high school this method always ensured you got out of a bad relationship without trouble or question. Lost in his thoughts, Ryan doesn't notice Kelly until she was right next to him. "Whatcha doing-"

"Kelly, I'm gay." Looooong pause of awkwardness. Kelly simply stares at Ryan, her smile frozen on her face. A little bit of tact would have helped just then, Ryan thinks staring up at the ceiling, imagining god; sitting in the clouds, laughing his ass off at him. The smile on Kelly's face switched to one of hurt and confusion. "What?" she asks, frowning. "I'm sorry, I never wanted it to end like this; but I cant keep fooling myself that I am ever going to feel about you the same way I feel about guys. I'm sorry." In silent prayer he watches Kelly sit in her chair. Never once taking her eyes off him. After about a minute or so Kelly declares, "I don't believe you. You're not gay, I know that."

"Oscar's gay, but you didn't know that until he told you." Ryan reasons.

"I still wont believe you, not until I've seen some proof." The dark skinned woman then stands abruptly and walks over to the door, picking up her coat on the way. "Where are you going?" the ex-temp asks. "Home." she says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was, as it was already time to go home. Realising the lack of work he had got done today, he decides to stay behind an hour or so to do some work, which is something he doesn't normally do. Watching each member of the office leave, including Michael, who left without any drama today, Ryan tries to complete some confusing sheets with a lot of numbers on but cant stop thinking about how to prove he was gay to Kelly. If he gave her no proof, she would know he made it up, and then she would know he wanted to break up with her, and so she would be angry and upset and would never shut up about it. Groaning in resignation about his work and his 'gay' problem Ryan lets his head drop with a loud clunk, onto his desktop.

Unknown to him, Jim has also been working late and has just returned from the rec room with a packet of crisps. Realising his only chance, the ex-temp springs from his desk and runs over to Jim, who is looking at him with a surprised expression. "Jim, please, I need your help. I wouldn't ask but… but… okay I don't know why but anyway, I need you!"

"Okay, what's the matter?" Jim asks, looking slightly concerned. The day that Ryan was begging for help was the day he would stop pulling pranks on Dwight. Okay, maybe not then. "Well I wanted to break up with Kelly because she is completely driving me nuts and I don't want her as an enemy or anything so I just told her that I was gay but now she doesn't believe me and if she realises that I'm not gay then she will loath me for all eternity and so I need to prove to her that I'm gay." Ryan takes a breath and looks at Jim, his eyes filled with hope.

"Wow. So now you're gay? Why don't you tell Kelly that you're dating Oscar?" Jim suggests, smirking slightly.

Ryan looks as if he'd just had a 'gay friendly' hug from Michael. "And you're suggesting that why?" he asks. Jim shrugs his shoulders and goes to sit at his desk. The ex-temp follows and climbs onto Dwight's desk before getting comfortable, facing Jim. "Why did you even say you were gay?!" Jim asks, a smile never far from his lips. Ryan shrugs, sighing. "I really don't know. I just cant stand her any more." A few minutes of silence pass and suddenly Jim's eyes light up and he grins at his co-worker, who looks rather frightened. "What? Have you thought of something?" Ryan asks, leaning in closer.

"I'm not sure how you're going to react to this, but it will definitely work. Kelly will finally be off your case, but we would have to practice a bit to get it right."

"What is it?" Ryan asks eagerly.

"Well…"

Okay, letmeknowwhatyouthink. Apologies for the shortness. I should do the other chapter (Or chapters depending how you guys feel about it) but I don't think I should if you read this and think "What a load of crapola." Comments and creative criticism would be much appreciated so if you can be bothered... yeah... thank-you for reading... love to you.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Ryan Needs Out

Summary: Ryan is fed up of being with Kelly and wants out. Only problem is that he doesn't know how…

Pairings: well… sort of RyanJimness

Disclaimer: I don't own The Office US or any of the characters… blah blah blah… hell and mayhem…

Chapter 2

Ryan left work that day in a state, his nerves scratching at his brain. How the heck was he going to pull this off? Sure, he had full confidence in Jim's ability to get this done, but would he be able to be convincing enough for Kelly? He couldn't even believe he was so desperate to need to do it in the first place. That night Ryan couldn't sleep because he was thinking so much about tomorrow. In the morning he was almost shaking as he walked towards the Dunder Mifflin building. He couldn't stop fidgeting as he waited for the elevator. Just as he steps inside, he hears a familiar voice call, "Hold it please!" Ryan holds the doors open so that Jim can run in. as the doors close they lock in the awkwardness Jim brought.

"You ready?" Jim asks after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah…" Ryan replies, the worry clear in his voice.

"Do you need one more practice run?" Ryan looks at Jim and instantly averts his gaze. He shakes his head and mutters, "No… we did enough of that last night." Jim nods and coughs awkwardly. "We're doing this straight away, right?" Ryan asks.

"Yeah; you sure about this?" Ryan nods, "I don't think I can hold my sanity a day longer with her around." Jim chuckles. The doors open and they both step out of the elevator, and begin to walk to their office. "I mean, how the heck can you do it? You're so… convincing…" Ryan asks incredulously. Jim just shrugs and smiles in response. They open the door and Jim goes to say hi to Pam, who's already there. Ryan takes off his coat and walks over to his desk. Kelly is there and stands up and hugs him enthusiastically. He remains rigid in her grip. He pulls away and watches Jim come over. "Um…" Ryan begins, "I have proof I'm gay." Kelly's happy expression falters slightly.

"What?"

"I have proof." Kelly's eyes flick to Jim, before focusing on Ryan. After taking a deep breath, Ryan turns to Jim and grabs his collar. Their eyes meet and Ryan pulls hard on the fabric in his grasp, pulling Jim into a passionate kiss. He puts all effort into it to make it as convincing as possible, and is slightly grateful that Jim is putting in a lot of energy too. Almost too much energy. Ryan tries to forget that it's a man that he's kissing, and instead thinks about models and random girls he had at one point fancied, but his thoughts quickly revert back to Jim. In horror and disgust, Ryan finds himself enjoying the kiss, despite it not being a girl. He can feel Jim pressing his hands lightly on his chest, indicating that he should stop, but for some reason Ryan finds himself unable to. Jim presses harder on him and he finally lets go of the other's collar. As he looks into Jim's eyes, it's almost as if Jim was asking, "Why did you hold onto that kiss?" He hears a quiet sob from Kelly, and turns to see tears in her eyes. "You… you asshole!" she screams, running from the office. However, she's not the only one that's upset about the kiss. Kathy is standing at her desk, her eyes brimming with tears. "Jim…" Ryan says, indicating Dunder Mifflin's new-ish recruit. Jim looks and begins to walk towards her, but she shakes her head and follows Kelly out of the office. Pam, oddly, remains emotionless at her desk, unmoving. Luckily for everyone, Michael isn't there yet.

Ryan sits at his desk and tries to ignore the stares he is receiving from everyone present in the office, apart from Jim, who was also trying to bury his head in the sand. "It could have gone worse… oh, who am I kidding? Not only does Kelly now loath me, Kathy will more likely than not hate me and Jim's relationship with her is obviously over." Ryan slowly resigns himself to sitting in silence at his desk, his head resting on his folded arms. Michael doesn't turn up for another hour, but Ryan doesn't hear his excuse. The only good thing about being in this corner was that he would not be disturbed by anyone, apart from Kelly, but she wasn't there.

Upon Michael's arrival, Ryan starts work, but his concentration is constantly being bombarded by thoughts of the kiss. Briefly he touches his lips thoughtfully, but then pulls them back as if they were on fire. Why was he thinking of the kiss?! Groaning in frustration, Ryan squeezes the bridge of his nose with this index finger and thumb. Realising he wouldn't concentrate just yet, he decides to get some coffee to clear his mind. As he walks up to the machine and puts his money in, none other than Jim walks into the room. The tension is almost tangible as Jim approaches the coffee machine. Ryan can almost feel the other's hot breath on the back of his neck. Without turning around, Ryan mumbles, "I'm sorry about Kathy, it completely slipped my mind that…" he trails off. He takes his coffee from the machine and turns around, almost spilling the hot beverage because of the close proximity between him and Jim. "Oh, it's okay. I'm sure she'll forgive me." Ryan smiles thinly and nods, walking out the room with Jim's eyes on his back all the time.

"I have to stop thinking about that kiss! It was wrong! But… it felt…sort of… right… NO! It was not right, get over it!" Ryan thinks furiously, back at his desk. His anger causes the pencil in his hand to snap, and he stares at it in confusion, before throwing it away. "God damn it, suck it up man! Where the heck has all this angst come from?! You just escaped a possibly life-threatening relationship, you should be happy." And yet he wasn't. For some reason the kiss kept springing up, and Ryan was trying anything to prevent it from doing so, but nothing would work. By lunchtime Ryan had already had four cups of coffee, and he still felt dead. Lame as it sounded, he felt like crap when he didn't see Jim. He was almost tempted to leave for the rest of the day.

Standing to get another coffee, he sees Kathy back at her desk, and he then notices Jim staring at her intently. To his embarrassment and discomfort, he finds an odd jealousy form. But of course he was jealous of Kathy, he wanted her to himself… right. "Oh who am I kidding?!" Ryan thinks in resignation, falling back into his chair. "Great. I have a crush on Jim Halper. JIM HALPER. A MAN." Ryan lets his head drop into his hands, where he holds it tightly, for fear of losing it. He stands again and walks to the coffee machine for the sixth time that day (he had almost got there before but Jim had been there and he found himself unable to put his money in the slot, his hands were shaking so much, so he just gave up.) and to his ever growing dismay, he sees Jim stand and follow him. Kathy's eyes widen and she looks back to her work, brushing her tears away.

Again Ryan finds his hands begin to shake as he lifts the coins to put them in for his coffee, and in embarrassment, drops most of them on the floor as he feels Jim push lightly into him from behind. "Oh, sorry, uh… Kevin just went past." Ryan nods and bends over to pick up his dropped money. He curses himself and his nerves, and the butterflies in his stomach. His hands refuse to steady themselves yet again and Ryan finds himself slowly losing patience. He then feels a hand on his own, and watches Jim take the money and put it in himself. "Th-thanks." Ryan stutters. "Nice going there, idiot." He thinks to himself. He takes his coffee and hurries out of the room, making no eye contact with anyone, especially Kathy, who was glaring at him with a fire unknown to Ryan, or any of the other office workers.

To Ryan's misfortune, he finds Kelly sitting back at her usual place, her eyes glued to the computer screen. She appears not to notice Ryan, or if she does, she ignores him completely. This however is not a problem for Ryan, as he needs all the silence he can get. Throughout the rest of the day Ryan can only hit the keys on his keyboard one at a time, painfully slow. He manages to type half a page of stocks and shares before giving up. With half an hour before the day ends Ryan decides a much needed rest is in order. He lays his head down and tries to clean his mind. In the end he just settles for a light nap, despite it being plagued by the kiss' sensation and false passion.

A person's hand on his shoulder jogs him out of his dreams and makes him jump sharply. He looks up to see Jim standing above him, concern written across his face. Ryan stands abruptly and glances at the clock, it's half an hour after closing time. Ryan rubs his temples and bends to pick up his bag. "You okay?" Jim asks.

"Yeah," Ryan lies drearily, "Never better." Come on! Try to be more convincing that that! "You got rid of Kelly, and that's the main thing." Jim says with a sigh. Ryan looks at his colleague with a frown. "That sounds like there were other things apart from the main thing." (Does that even make sense?) "There weren't, were there?" Ryan asks. Jim looks at him oddly, before turning away with a laugh, "You're thinking too much about it." Ryan remains silent while getting his things together. That done, he blurts out, "Can I kiss you again… for practice" Jim stares for a moment before laughing. "I-I didn't meant t-that!" Ryan stumbles over the denial. Of course he meant it. "Why would we need another practice?" Jim asks with a chuckle. "We don't!" Ryan says desperately. What if Jim realised the kiss meant more to Ryan than it was supposed to. Ryan strides past Jim, keeping his head down, out of the office.

Pacing around back at home, Ryan tries to get Jim out of his thoughts. Gripping his head tightly, he tries to shake the thoughts physically out of his head. It fails to work. Go figure. Falling back on the sofa, Ryan feels his eyes suddenly grow heavy despite the amount of coffee consumed that day. He closes his eyes for the final time and curls up on his couch, already too sleepy to walk to his bed.

Hooboy… sorry if this disappoints… I am aware that Ryan is TOTALLY out of character here but I'm not too sure of how to go about the situation. Thanks for the comments! Much love! I'll put up another chapter when I have to chance to write some more. Thank you for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

Apologies for the lateness… Okay people, I am sorry about my idiot mistakes. Seriously, at the time, I thought they were correct. It was too early in the morning, but I mean COME ON I spelt Jim's last name wrong, his last goddamn name. Anyway, I know I should change the mistakes, but…well, I am a total lazy ass (I shall when I get away from everyone, but for now…no, just no). Thank you all for reading. Hope you like what I've got so far. Anyway, on with the story…

That morning Ryan woke up late, as he was too far away from his alarm clock to hear it. He changes his clothes and has a shower before leaving for work. The temptation to stay home is overwhelming; he isn't up for seeing Jim all day again; but at the same time he wants to go in for that exact reason too. Upon his late arrival, he is called into Michael's office. Walking in, he was slightly nervous: had someone told Michael about the kiss? Ryan shudders at the thought of confronting Michael about it. It's not even as if it were a mistake, or he could deny it, otherwise somehow Kelly would find out.

Michael indicates for the ex-temp to sit down. "I'm sorry I'm late-" Ryan begins, but is cut short by a wave of his employer's hand. "Ryan, I have decided that you have learnt your lesson already and-"

"You're sending me back to my desk?!" Ryan asks with a sense of disbelief. This means the one thing he could not stand would be right next to him: Jim. Michael looks slightly put down at not being able to finish his sentence, and so decides to dismiss him bluntly. "Yes, Ryan. You may go now." It is quite shocking that Michael has not yet made a big spectacle of Ryan. Ryan leaves the room and goes to his desk in the corner of the office. He then packs up his few things and takes them over to his original desk. Sitting down, he breathes a sigh of a mixture of relief and irritation. Of course he had to come back now, when his childish crush had just begun. _Of course_. It then occurred to him that Michael may have moved him back there after hearing about the kiss, and felt bad about keeping the 'lovers' apart.

Glancing over to Jim, he finds the other staring at him. After a few moments, Ryan asks, "What? Have I got something on my face?" Jim suddenly blinks and looks at Ryan innocently. "What was I doing?" He asks, completely unaware of his actions.

"You were… staring at me." Jim remains silent for a moment before laughing awkwardly. "So… uh… yeah… lots of work to do." Ryan mumbles, turning to his computer.

"Yeah, me too." Jim says. The tension between the two is clearly visible. "So… have you two had sex yet?" Dwight asks, mildly interested. Ryan swears his life could not get any more awkward. He couldn't quite define what was worse, the question, or the fact that it was Dwight that asked it. He turns to Dwight with a stoic expression. "No Dwight we have not had sex. Never. Will never. Okay?"

"Actually, there was that one time you came back to my place after some office party and we got pretty drunk. Don't you remember you saying you wouldn't be able to walk the next day?" Jim interjects with a grin, much to Ryan's dismay.

"What?! No! Nothing happened!" Ryan exclaims.

"I clearly remember you were begging me to ride you like a pony-"

"Shut the hell up!" Ryan yells, standing abruptly, so the notes on his lap fall to the floor. "It's not funny any more!" He then storms to the bathroom where he proceeds to pull his hair for a while, in a childishly angsty way. Meanwhile, Jim is more than slightly concerned by his colleague's reactions to things and turns to look at Pam, who shrugs her shoulders. She had decided that she couldn't show how terrible the whole thing made her feel so as not to expose her true feelings for Jim. "Do you two have fights like this often?" Dwight asks, writing something down in a notebook, before looking up at Jim attentively. "No, Dwight, we don't. Why do you care?" Jim asks in exasperation.

"I am compiling a set of notes on your relationship so I can show my findings to Michael." Jim stares at Dwight in disbelief. "You're not serious, right? Please tell me you're kidding.?"

"Oh Jim, you couldn't possibly think I would let something like this slip past the office romance net. Michael must be informed so that he can decide what to do with you two."

"No, you cannot do that. I repeat you cannot to that." Jim realises the strain on Ryan would be too much. Of all the idiots in the office, it had to be Dwight sitting there. "Oh yeah? And what will you do about it?" Dwight asks smugly. Jim thinks for a moment. Then, for no reason other than to make time for him to think he says, "I know your secret." He sees Dwight turn rigid, before saying stiffly. "I have no secrets." However he knew, that his brief display of shock at the remark, had given him away. Jim, of course, knew next to nothing of Dwight's secret, apart from slight speculation. Dwight didn't know this. It was now his turn to pause and think. He couldn't risk exposure, he simply couldn't.

"Fine. What are the terms?" he asks with pursed lips. Jim runs his fingers through his hair and sighs in relief, thank god it worked. "I wont tell if you wont." He mutters softly. Dwight nods before spitting into his hand and holding it to Jim. The other however, merely stares at it in horror and disgust. Dwight waves his hand in the air and hisses through gritted teeth, "This makes the deal binding. Hurry up." Jim feels a small shudder pass through him and instead says the words, "This is for Ryan" in his head like a mantra. He then spits on his hand and presses it to Dwight's own. The slick sensation of both their wet palms rubbing against one another turned Jim's stomach for some reason. Maybe because it was just because he hated spit, or that it was Dwight.

As soon as the handshake was broken, Jim stood and went to the bathroom to wash off the remnants of the agreement. Pushing open the door roughly with his clean hand, Jim makes his way instantly to the tap where he begins to clean his hands with some foul smelling hand-wash.

Ryan heard someone entering, and didn't know who it was, but he sure as hell knew who he didn't want it to be. He prayed with every fibre in his body not to be _him_. Ah, but of course, some otherworldly god decided that Ryan needed punishment for everything he had ever done, and that his punishment wasn't about to stop. The tap turned off, and Ryan could hear the steady thump of footsteps on tiling. With each footfall he shrank further away from the cubicle door. "Ryan?" Someone asks. If he hadn't an ounce of self-pride (which was now almost completely exhausted) he would have cried out in shock at the closeness of the voice. The temptation to feign non-existence however, was completely extinguished when Jim says, "Ryan, I know you're in there, the other cubicles are empty, and I know this is the only place you would go." How the heck did he even know that?

This whole ordeal had been constructed out of his own cowardice, and even now he was too much of a coward to confront Jim. "I'm alright, go back to work. I'll be out in a second." Jim remained still. "I'm not going till you come out." Ryan rolls his eyes and presses his back into the wall of the tiny cubicle. After taking a gulp, Jim mumbles, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't know it was that bad." After a brief pause, Jim continues, "Oh, and by the way, Dwight wants to tell Michael that we're in a 'relationship'." Ryan chokes on the small breath he had just inhaled. "He… what?!" Ryan opens the door without a second's notice and walks straight into Jim. He grabs the older man's shoulders and begins to shake them slightly. "This is all going wrong! Why the hell did you have to suggest it in the first place?!" Ryan exhales deeply, letting go of his colleague's shoulders. "Fine, whatever. I just don't care now. I have to do some work. Is it to much to ask not to be disturbed, I would like to do something productive today. Jim nods with a concerned expression still stuck on his face. Ryan thanks him quietly and walks out. Jim leans against the sink counter with his face in his hands. Why the hell was this getting so difficult?

And now it is time for me to announce that I have NO inspiration. And thus you know I suck. I am so sorry that this chapter is so late, and that it's so totally angsty and emo… I don't really think this is particularly to anyone's tastes… and so I apologise. Yup, I am all too aware that the characters are OOC right now and that the storyline is going to hell. Sorry if this disappoints. (sorry for the apologies.) OO'


End file.
